Once in awhile I read, watch or hear things that make me stop in my tracks, shake head and think. This short VIDEO is one of them, it is produced by Attn: and it is about women who do not have children and what people think about them.
I recently watched this video and it had my mind in a whirl because I do not have children and I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked if I have children. When I respond, “no” I often get a look that sometimes makes me feel inadequate, selfish, or as if I am a freak.
Did you know that 1 in 5 women do not have kids? I actually did not know that statistic but what I do know is this, having children is a huge decision and there are many, many reasons that women do not have children. Whatever our reasons they are nobody else’s business and how dare people try to make us feel badly about it!
For some women it is a choice and for others the choice is not their own. Some women just can’t have kids, something medically happened to them to prevent it. Maybe they tried and couldn’t, maybe they were ill when they were young and it left them sterile, maybe they have something genetically wrong and their children would be born with deformities? Who knows what the reason but at the end of the day for women who wanted to have kids it is very difficult to be asked if you have children when you don’t. In fact for some it is heartbreaking each and every time they are asked.
There are others, like me, who just never felt the maternal pull and consequently just do not have them. Some feel the world is overpopulated and do not want to add to its burden. For others it was never the right time or they never found the right person to have them with.
There are many women who are happy with their choice and then there are some that as they age believe they may have made a mistake. I am not that person, I am happy with my choice. I am also blessed because my husband had two children when I met him and although they are not my biological kids I love them as if they were.
Having and raising kids is a huge undertaking, children need lots of love, time, attention and resources to make sure they grow up to be good people and productive members of society. But just because you do not have a child of your own doesn’t mean that your knowledge, time, resources and love go unused.
Personally I believe there are some in this world that should not have had kids, simply because they do not love them, do not take care of them, abuse them and treat them horribly.
I actually had a 65 year old friend who once told me that her mother was one of those people, she told me that her mom was the worst mother in the world. When I asked her why she told me her mother NEVER had time for her and her siblings, never hugged her in her entire life and never told her that she loved he. I tear up just writing that because it is so far from my life. I am blessed to have a wonderful mother.
I am curious, do you have kids? If not, what do you feel like when people ask you that question? Tell us so that maybe someone reading will hear your story and listen. Do you have an opinion about women that don’t have children?
Thanks for reading and for listening! Have a great day!