Good morning. I recently read a post from a blog that I have followed for years and she mentioned that she unfollowed, unliked, and deleted blogs, Twitter,Instagram and Facebook accounts that she could not relate to their life or their lifestyle. She said that she was starting to feel badly when she saw outfits, projects, trips, and a lifestyle that did not resemble her own.
I have had this same discussion with family, friends, and other bloggers who have written about similar topics. Honestly, I don’t feel badly, get sad or jealous about what I see on social media. I have a great life and have been very blessed to travel the world, get an education, live in a nice house, have a wonderful family, etc.
I also know that what we see on Instagram and many other social media sights is a little like “smoke and mirrors. It is typically the best they/me have to offer, the most beautiful and cleanest room in the house(which is why you frequently see it on their feed from every angle), a sponsored outfit, room, patio, a perfect cake, etc. A lot of these successful people work hard to get sponsored work and more power to them but I am pretty sure they would not be decorating a room in their house each season without the heavily discounted or free products, paint, wallpaper, furniture etc. that sponsors offer them.
Personally, while I am on social media I like to spend it reading, looking, following, making or doing things that I can relate to, learn from or admire and appreciate.
For instance, I do not follow any science fiction authors because I do not read those sort of books but I do follow bakers and cake decorators that make works of art in their kitchen that I will never be able to create. I also follow architects, like Steve Gianetti and his wife Brooke, interior designers, like Robert Couturier, gardeners, like Joseph Valentine of Juniper Hill and photographers, like Jamie Beck because I appreciate the beautiful things that they are creating.
Lately, I have found myself deleting blogs and instagram accounts of people that post outfits daily that just do not fit into my lifestyle. I cannot relate to a blogger/instagramer that constantly posts an outfit a day that costs $285 for the shirt, $260 for the jeans, $650 for the espadrilles and another $1500 for the handbag, and that is just the clothing, not including the $275 for the earrings. More often than not these are simple “jeans and t-shirt” posts for a walk to get coffee or lunch with a friend. Really?
Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion but just not stuff like that. Especially when I know that many of these people either get the pieces free, receive a huge discount, or buy the pieces, wear them and return them(yes its true). I personally love to follow people that have a sense of fashion that is unique to them, like Elizabeth of The Vintage Contessa, Iris Apfel, Ines de la Fressange, Advanced Style and people like that.
For interiors and travel, I follow House Beautiful, Veranda, Architectural Digest, House & Gardens UK, The English Home, Marie Claire Maison and many more magazines from some of my favorite places to visit, France, the UK, Scotland, to name just a few.
I love to see posts of what people are reading, making, baking, or where they are traveling. If they find a great restaurant that serves tacos, margaritas, the best hot chocolate, cake or bread than I want to hear about it so I can put it on my list of places to try when I am in that area.
I enjoy people that are “real” and post about their lives, their faith, the ups and downs, their animals, adventures, quotes, food and finds.
So tell me, what are your thoughts on social media? Do you love it or hate it? Do you make comparisons between yourself and others? Does it make you feel inferior? Who do you follow and why? What do you like or dislike?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Have a great day.
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It depends on what you expect out of it. I look at social media as a crowdsourced, free version of magazines. Magazines have always been about the impossibly beautiful and somewhat out of reach, whether fashion, decor or even cooking (they always throw in a few ingredients that are impossible to source, with a caveat that the recipe won't be the same without them). I still get ideas. I don't have Atlantic-Pacific's looks or budget, but I really like her style. The houses on Coté de Texas are enormous, but there are always ideas to glean, plus the blogger is charmingly enthusiastic and does some amazing research to find historic photos. The Vintage Contessa is another one whose zest for life permeates her writing. I especially appreciate the bloggers who are 15-20 years older than me, who write about life in very touching ways; the younger ones seem to be doing it not for pleasure but as a side gig, or even a full-time job. Hello Lovely and Classic Casual Home are about buying stuff but as an afterthought; the aesthetics come first and the bloggers' positive attitudes are what make me subscribe. Same here–Pinecones and Acorns is a daily hit of positivity with my morning coffee.
I can so relate to your post about social media….I have been rather bored with blogs lately that post sponsored ads for beauty, home and fashion. You Tube women that must be so self-focused that they spend hundreds of dollars on beauty products every week…they honestly feel they are interesting having others watch them apply make-up, fix their hair, and show their results of plastic surgery! I LOVE real life stories and real ordinary people…..
Beauty and fashion don't really apply to me, and most of the blogs I follow are photography blogs, so it's not about sponsored content.
In terms of specific social media, well, let's just say after the two faced way I've been treated by Facebook (repeated wrongful suspensions for me while they allow white supremacists to get away with saying anything), I'm at a point where if Zuckerberg was dying and the only thing that could save him was a bone marrow transplant from me… I'd refuse.
What a timely post using some of the quotes I've sent my children in our weekly catch up. (a sneaky way to give them my point of view and they love it!) Our blog, littleblackdomicile.com is fairly new and has been an eyeopener to our established design firm. We simply use the blog as a fun tool and post about topics that our clients want to know more about. This means we stress that good design is for everyone no matter the economics. We have loyal readers, and have met so many other bloggers I feel I could pop in on if I was in their town. Then there are the others you mention that don't gel with our philosophy of playing nice with others. Like france taste just said…it depends what you expect. Even tho we do not, I appreciate the bloggers who are making living with their blog. Preparing a post properly is hard work. However, I also agree that I have the choice to read the ones that I can relate to, choose to spend money with those fashionistas that inspire me, and laugh, cry or fume with my fellow bloggers who always seem to know just when to leave the right comment or email. As far as the other social media tracks….they are a part of the future and even though I don't always "get it" I feel the same about them as the blogs. It's all about doing what works for us.
Like you, I don't feel envy about what I see. I don't engage at all on Instagram, but I like Pinterest.
Brenda
WOW!
FIRST let me THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!I still cannot BELIEVE people follow me and the little OLD BLOG!
Second,I SO WISH YOU were attending one of my THREE luncheons where I invited INSTAGRAMMERS to come sit with me so we can all CHAT!This will be a TOPIC I would imagine………that will come up!
I loved it for finding similar SOULMATES!
I love it for recipes!
I love to visit GARDENS and OPERA HOUSES and the BALLET DANCERS with my coffee or wine!I feel I can Travel the world in the comfort of my own home each and every day!However, It is a TIME SUCKER…………!!!!!
What did we do BEFORE COMPUTERS and SMART PHONES????
I recently have been thinking of tossing it ALL AWAY!!!!!!
Lets discuss this MORE!
If you email me your phone number I will call you next week!First Luncheon is this SATURDAY and I need to HOP away from HERE!!!!!!!!
XX
This was a great post Elizabeth. I recently returned from a blogging conference. I think what has happened is people put so much work (and $$$ now) into their blogs that they feel the only way they can continue is to make some revenue. Gone are the days when we all just posted about what we love. I am still hanging on to that but feel like I am on a sinking ship. It is all about the "Brand" these days. However you are my baking guru. I wish I liked to bake. Your recipes are all so tempting! I love to cook but I know realistically I will never be a baker!
I enjoy looking at beautiful images of outfits, homes, and landscapes. I don't get jealous and i do try to incorporate a few of the glamorous ideas into my own life. The inspiration beautiful blogs and pins and instagram posts provide can be positive. Sponsored content entries are completely ignored. I cannot trust anything they say if they are being paid or gifted things from someone else.
Very interesting topic, Elizabeth. I love being on social media, first of all. I've discovered great local restaurants, shops, small hotels, etc, and made good friends. I try not to get envious…except when it comes to food posts. Seeing a yummy piece of cake makes me soooo envious 🙂
xo
I love all of the people I have met through blogging.
Interesting post. I really don't get jealous…just inspired to enjoy life. I really try to keep my blog positive…so yeah who wants to see a bunch of dirty laundry or dishes in the sink? I used to provide links to products I was using as a service…so with the affiliate links now, I get a little commission…which helps pay for all the blog related expenses like the hosting server and email server and IT help and the blog design and more $$$ (all sort of boring)…I thought about posting about all the blog related expenses but how BORING. So thanks for letting me vent here 🙂
I used to post links for years of products, books, etc and never earned a penny. Now I am like you I post links and in my case earn a few cents, not enough to pay much of my blog costs. I would not mind at all if you posted about the cost of blogging, I think it is interesting.