Good morning! This week the papers have had non-stop coverage about Harvey Weinstein and the sexual harassment claims that have toppled him from his prominent perch of “top Hollywood producer.”
To be honest when I first heard the story, my first thought was, “I’ve heard that before” and indeed I had, several years ago when an actress, whom I cannot recall her name, said that he had harassed her. About that time there were rumblings that he had done it to others, and as quickly as the story came it was gone. There was even a mention that “this stuff” happens all the time in Hollywood and no one talks about it.
I remember thinking this weekend, “where there is smoke there is fire.” I thought perhaps there were many more to whom this had happened; but that they did not think they could come forward because to date nothing had happened to Weinstein so they did not want to jeopardize their careers or future opportunities.
I never thought about any of this and how it affected my life until I read a story in which they quoted Donna Karan, and she said( I am paraphrasing here) “that we must also consider how these women were dressed when these things happened to them.” Really? What does that have to do with anything?
That one statement brought my own claims of sexual harassment to the forefront of my mind because the same question was asked about me.
I don’t want to go into all of the details but I will say that it happened to #metoo while I was in graduate school. I was not assaulted but I was inappropriately touched and was the recipient of many, many weird, sexual stories from a professor. After a year I reported him and I was the one investigated, and one of the first questions asked of all of my fellow students and professors was, “what did she wear to class?”, “Did she dress appropriately?”
I am curious, what do you think about the Harvey Weinstein stories? Do you think all of these women speaking out will help to end this sort of behavior? Or do you think it will continue? Do you believe that “not everyone knew?”
I have to be honest, I think it will continue, not only in Hollywood, but in schools, in the workplace and wherever there is a man or a woman that has some sense of power and makes you feel as if you are powerless.
I also do not believe that not everyone knew. Granted they may not have been the target of this man but people talk, and tell stories and apparently for over 30 years people were talking. Lets face it, if the public heard some of the stories how did they people in this mans’ sphere of influence not hear them?
Do you think that Harvey Weinstein deserves a second chance? Do you think he will get one?
Have you ever been the victim of sexual harassment at work, school or somewhere else?
If you are curious about the #metoo movement and the origin of “me too” read this article.
Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I hope that you have a great day?
I don't think Weinstein deserves a second chance.
Harassment started for me in 7th grade, with a boy who grabbed at all the girls' breasts and butts. Calm down, he's just playing, the nuns said.
About the same time, I got a new music teacher, whom I hated. He would hug me and kiss my hair. I would pull away, but then what? Go where? I complained to my mom, but she was adamant I continue lessons. So I took my little brother with me. The teacher was upset and would ask why my brother was there, but it limited his touching to putting his arm around me. Ick.
Later, on the first day at a job, every woman came by my desk to warn me about a co-worker who had gone on a naked rant in the lunchroom. Don't ever be alone with him. If he asks you for a ride, refuse. He did make nonstop comments about sex. I complained. I was told they couldn't fire him because it would hurt his family. He eventually retired with a full pension. I switched employers and got a great job with a great company that didn't put up with creeps like that.
I have seen many women attracted to co-workers, who find themselves not asked out on a date or entering into a relationship that might have led to consensual sex, but instead the guys do a kind of bait-and-switch, where the date never happens but the sex does. They want the guys to like them, not use them. They don't want to get into a battle or to turn them in to HR. I know lots of happy couples who met at work, which makes that whole situation even murkier.
Isn't is sad when you think back and the nuns told you to calm down? I am amazed at the stories that I have heard from other women, the "innocent" touching from men of all ages and starting from the time they were kids.
I know of several women who horrible things happened to and they were told to just put it out of their mind and move on.
If we do not see that there will be repercussions from a young age why would we speak out?
I had never even heard Weinstein's name until this happened a few weeks ago. Frankly, I don't think he deserves another chance, as he has practiced this deviance for many years it seems. I don't think the tiger can change his stripes. And that's ridiculous questioning what someone was wearing!!!
Brenda
It hasn't happened to me. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't deserve a second chance, but I tend to be rather unforgiving in general. He's been at this for decades, and some people don't change. In his case, however, everything he's had has just been taken away from him, and he'll never get it back.
Thank you for sharing your story E. I had never 'really' thought too much about sexual assault, or abuse when it came to me personally. In my 30's, I did have a supervisor who would tap me on the bottom. Each time I'd be at the copier, he'd walk by hand & give me a pat. It gave me the creeps; especially since he was a 'godly' man with a devoted wife. I don't think Weinstein should be given a second chance. If in 30+ years he's not recognized that he's a predator, or what he's done is morally & unequivocally wrong, I doubt even therapy can help him. One of the many, many tragedies to this story is the impact on his children and wife. I too think that too many people knew what was going on. I believe that it is a whole different Hollywood-world that I can't begin to comprehend. I would like to think that this out pour from so many women and the shaming of these kind of people who inflict this kind of abuse, will make a change in our society. On the other hand, I worry that certain predators believe they will never be caught, or that what they do or have done, is acceptable. They were dressing provocatively and had it coming, frame of mind. Time will tell, but only if women continue to speak out. Thank you (as always) for this great read today.
I can't believe that I can finally get into your blog….I've tried for weeks to no avail! HOW ARE YOU?????
On the subject, I think that "sexual harrassment" is manifested in different degrees on a spectrum that goes from FUZZY to very clear. I know I've experienced it on the fuzzy end of the spectrum, where as the victim, you sort of put it off and move on. But for those women AND MEN who have experienced the blatant and very evident assaults, I applaud them for coming forward. Whether it's fear for being a victim of the latter or whether it's uncertainty if you've been "assaulted" if you've been on the receiving end on the blurry side of the spectrum, it's TIME to speak up. As an older woman now, I often think to myself, "JUST SPEAK UP" when I hear of young children, teens and young people being violated. But when I think back of my teen years and beyond when I said nothing about the attempted kiss from a married man, the unwanted sexual advances of co-workers and cat calls from idiots in the street, I realize that I either shrugged it off thinking it was just normal, or I was scared to tell anyone. I hope that we can continue to educate people that there is NO SHAME for speaking the truth. Be well my friend.