The Case for the Cashmere Sweater

My mother taught me that one beautiful sweater, worn often, beats ten you never love. Forty years later, I still have the proof.

I was eighteen, maybe nineteen, standing in a department store with my sister while our mother held up a black v-neck cashmere sweater like she was presenting evidence. “A beautiful sweater is classic,” she said. That was the whole speech. She bought it for me, then a rich cocoa brown one, and before the afternoon was over I had also found my first Ralph Lauren blazer with the little crest on the pocket. (Did I know I was being handed a philosophy? I did not. I thought I was being handed a sweater.) Forty years later, I still think she made the best case there is for a cashmere sweater, and for women over 50 it holds up better than ever.

Today is my mother’s 81st birthday, so this post feels like the right tribute.

My sister came home with two as well, a black one and another color neither of us can remember now. Black, you will notice, was not up for debate. It was a proper shopping day, the kind where you try everything on, take your time, and listen to the woman who knows more than you do.

I still have those sweaters. I still wear them. To this day, when I pull the black one over my head on a cold morning, I can hear her saying it.

This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Why a Good Cashmere Sweater Is Worth It

I won’t lie, I spent years feeling a little guilty about spending money on something nice for myself. Why? I honestly have no idea. Maybe because my mother did, and her mother before her. A cashmere sweater costs more than the acrylic one hanging next to it, and the acrylic one will technically keep you warm. So let me do the math I wish someone had done for me.

A well-made cashmere sweater, cared for properly, lasts fifteen years at the very least. Mine are the proof. The ones my mother bought me are about forty years old and still in regular rotation. I wear cashmere several times a week from October through March and again on cool spring mornings, so if you divide the price by the number of times it actually gets worn, the cost per wear comes out smaller than a cup of hot chocolate. (I have never once felt guilty about a cup of chocolate.)

The cheap sweater pills after one season. The fibers are coarser, it hangs wrong, and you notice every time you put it on, which is exactly how it ends up at the back of the drawer. The good one is the sweater you reach for without thinking. One beautiful sweater worn happily for decades is a far better buy than ten cheaper ones that never feel quite right. My mother knew this when I was eighteen. It took me a little longer. It is the same thinking behind most of the choices I make about my home and my closet, which I wrote about in my post on living with intention after 50.

What It Feels Like to Wear One

You put it on and something settles. That is the best way I can describe it. The softness at your wrists and the back of your neck, the warmth that feels like a hug. It feels like being looked after, and after so many years of looking after everybody else, I will take it.

My favorite cashmere moment is a cold October morning with the house still quiet, the light low through the windows, and Pisa, Paris, and Patches in no hurry whatsoever to get up. Nobody is coming over. Nobody will see what I am wearing. I put on the good sweater anyway, because getting dressed for nobody but yourself is one of the nicest habits I know.

I wear mine with plaid, almost always. A cashmere sweater, a skirt, a plaid scarf, and a good pair of boots is my uniform from October through March. If you have been reading here for a while, this will not come as news, since you see it in the outfits I put together for Monday Musings and Friday Favorites. That is not to say a cashmere sweater doesn’t look wonderful with jeans, over a dress, or under a blazer. I just prefer skirts.

How to Buy Cashmere and Make It Last

Not all cashmere is equal, and now that it turns up everywhere at every price, it is harder to know what you are getting. A few things I have learned the long way.

Feel it before you buy, if you can. Good cashmere is soft without being fuzzy. It should not scratch, and it should not feel so thin you suspect the elbows will be gone by Christmas. I cannot describe the real thing much better than that, but your hands will know it the minute you pick it up.

Think about weight and season. A lighter knit is lovely for layering in spring and fall, over a silk blouse or under a blazer. For January you want something heavier, the kind of sweater that keeps you warm instead of just looking cozy in a photograph.

As for brands, I have worn Ralph Lauren for years and trust it completely. So many friends and fellow bloggers have recommended Quince that it has earned a place on this list. Talbots, J.Crew, Boden and Lands’ End have all given me pieces that lasted, including a Lands’ End sweater that is twenty-five years old and still earns its spot every fall. The sweaters I reach for most are not always the most expensive ones. They are the ones that held their shape, washed well, and felt right from the very first day.

Wash it in cold water, by hand or on the gentlest cycle, with a wool and cashmere wash, then lay it flat on a towel to dry. Never, ever the dryer. That is honestly all there is to it. Here are a few tips from the expert, Martha Stewart.

Why I Shop Vintage and Secondhand Cashmere

Here is something I did not expect to be writing. The cashmere sweaters I bought twenty-five years ago are thick. You can feel the weight of them in your hands before you ever put one on. So much of the cashmere sold today is thin, practically featherweight, and more and more of it turns out to be a blend once you read the label. In the last few years, finding clothing that is well made and one honest fiber has become a genuine hunt.

I recently bought my mother a camel cashmere sweater from Tory Burch. It is four-ply, and when I picked it up it felt like it weighed five pounds. That is the cashmere I remember. (Forty years after she held up that black v-neck, it was my turn to buy her the good sweater.)

That is why I love a local consignment shop, a good thrift store, and eBay. Those are the places the well-made old sweaters end up, the ones knit back when a sweater was expected to last. Read the label first and look for 100 percent cashmere, not a blend. Then pick it up. It should have some heft to it. Hold it up to the light, and if you can see straight through the knit, put it back. Check the elbows and underarms for thin spots or tiny moth holes, and then take it home and give it a gentle cold wash. Half the fun is the hunt, and I will admit I am a little competitive about it.

The Colors Worth Owning

This part is personal, but I have been wearing cashmere for forty years, so I have opinions.

Start with black, navy, and a rich cocoa brown. They go with everything, and they rescue you on the mornings when you can’t find a thing to wear and still need to look put together. Black most of all. My mother was right about that, and my sister’s closet agreed.

After that, buy the color you love. Skip the safe choice and the sensible choice and go for the one that makes you a little happy every time you open the drawer. For me that is a deep burgundy I cannot walk past. I also have a soft spot for orange, and yes, a green too. And then there is the blue. I have been hunting for years for one particular blue in cashmere, not too bright and not too gray, the color of the sea on a clear October afternoon. I have not found it. I am still looking, and if you have seen it anywhere, please tell me.

And if there is a sweater you are saving, the one too pretty for an ordinary Tuesday, stay with me a minute.

Wear It Today

My mother did not buy me those sweaters so they could sit in a closet waiting for a worthy occasion. She bought them so I would have something beautiful to wear on ordinary days. The sweaters were lovely, but the permission to wear them was the real gift.

A few years ago I bought myself a grey cableknit cashmere cardigan, similar to this one. Then I did not wear it. Every Fall morning I reached right past it for something I worried about less. (For how long? Long enough that I started to feel a little sorry for the cardigan.)

One morning I finally took it off the shelf, put it on, and sat down at my desk to write. Nothing happened. Nobody saw it. It was me, the cardigan, a cup of chocolate going cold beside the keyboard, and a blank page that slowly filled up. It was perfect, and it had been perfect the entire time it hung there. I just had to stop waiting. I wrote a whole permission slip on this subject once, and apparently I needed to read it myself.

So if there is a cashmere sweater in your closet right now that you are saving, take it out and put it on today. No reason required. You chose it, it is yours, and it has waited long enough.

When you are ready to think about the rest of your closet, I wrote about how I finally figured out my own style in Classic Style After 50 (coming soon). It took me longer than I would like to admit, but the black v-neck was there from the start.

What is the piece in your closet you keep saving for a better day? And who taught you what was worth buying? Was it your mother, like mine, or did you work it out on your own? Tell me in the comments. I really do want to know.

If you like the post please share and don’t forget to follow along on Facebook, Instagram or X or Pinterest.

You might also enjoy:

Classic Style After 50: How I Dress and Why It Took Me This Long to Figure It Out (coming soon)

You Have Earned This: A Permission Slip for Women Over

Shop the Post