Some flowers do not just bloom. They take you somewhere. A spring meditation on lilacs, lily of the valley, and the memories that live inside a scent.
A year or two ago I was walking through the village when I smelled it.
I stopped mid-stride the way you do when something catches you completely off guard. There it was — that scent, unmistakable, on the warm spring air. I followed it until I found the tree. More like a large bush really, covered in white flowers. A woman was standing in her yard nearby and I asked her, probably a little too eagerly, if they were lilacs.
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They were not. She told me the name of the tree and I have since forgotten it, because the name did not matter. What mattered was that for thirty seconds on a sidewalk in North Carolina, I was back in Wisconsin, standing outside my bedroom window with the lake wind in the branches and the scent of lilacs on the air.
That is what certain flowers do. They do not just bloom. They take you somewhere.
The Lilac Tree Outside My Window
We moved many times when I was growing up — seven times before I was thirteen, two of them with my grandparents while we waited for the next place my dad was stationed. Enough moves to teach a child that houses are temporary and gardens even more so. You learn not to get too attached to the rosebush in the backyard or the apple tree by the fence, because soon enough someone else will have it and you will not. You carry the memory of houses and the gardens the way other people carry photographs.
When my father retired from the Coast Guard and we finally settled — really settled, the way my mother’s family had been settled in Wisconsin for generations — the memories I made in that house are the ones that have stayed with me. The ones I find myself returning to still.
There was a lilac tree outside my bedroom window.
I cannot tell you how many springs I woke to that scent before I even opened my eyes. It came in through the screen with the cool morning air off Lake Michigan, and for a few weeks every year it was simply part of waking up — that sweetness I cannot describe but is etched in my memory. There is something that happens when a scent becomes part of your mornings at a formative age. It does not leave. Decades later it finds you on a sidewalk in a Southern town and you follow it without thinking.
Lilacs do not grow here. The South is too warm and the winters are not cold enough for the dormancy they need. I have made my peace with that — not entirely, not without the occasional pang, but mostly. Occasionally while looking at the gardening seed, tree and bulb catalogs I put one into my cart. And then I take it back out again before I check out with my other flowers and seeds. The peonies are here instead and I have never had them in any other place that I have lived. The peonies are magnificent, they bring me joy and I am grateful every spring to see their pink and fuchsia blooms.
But every April when the air gets warm I think of that lilac tree. With gratitude and a little wistfulness and the joy of having it in my memory.
The Fairy Flowers
On the side of that same house, in the shade where the foundation met the garden, there was a whole field of lily of the valley.
I call it a field because that is what it felt like to a child — an entire little world, the glossy green leaves and small stems hung with those tiny white bells with their yellow stamens, drooping slightly. I have always thought of lily of the valley as fairy flowers. I still do. There is something about their size and their perfection and the way they grow in the quiet shaded places that makes me think small creatures live among them. I cannot help it. I look for the magic in the little things.
The scent is extraordinary — nothing like the lilac. Not heady, not sweet. But delicate and cool and a little elusive. You have to lean in to get a whiff.
For years I wore a perfume made from lily of the valley. I bought it in Paris — a small bottle from a French perfumer, the kind of shop you find when you are wandering without a plan and something stops you in your tracks. It smelled exactly like those flowers on the side of my childhood house. Exactly. I wore it until it was gone and have tried for years to find something similar. I have never found its equal. I am still looking.
Old Souls
Here is what I love most about these two flowers, beyond the scent and the beauty and everything they carry for me.
They come back.
Every single year, without any help from anyone, they come back. My mother still lives in that house and every May the lily of the valley on the side of the foundation comes back exactly as it always has, spreading quietly in the shade, doing what it has always done. The lilac tree outside my old bedroom window is still there too, still blooming every spring. I find that deeply satisfying. Some things just keep coming back no matter what changes around them.
These are old soul flowers. They were blooming in gardens long before many of us were born and they will be blooming long after. They do not need to be trendy or updated or improved. They show up every spring exactly as they always have — and then they are gone before you are quite ready for them to be, which is part of why you love them as much as you do.
My peony root is four years old this spring and every year it comes up stronger and more beautiful than the year before. Same root. Same plant. The lily of the valley on the side of my mother’s house has been doing the same thing for decades. Spring knows something about this that the rest of the world has not quite caught up to yet.
Go Find Them
If you can grow lilacs where you are and you enjoy them — plant them. Outside a window if you can manage it, so the scent finds you before you are even fully awake. If you cannot grow them, look for a flower market that sells cut lilacs in May and bring a bunch home. Put them everywhere and enjoy the scent.
Lily of the valley — find them if you can. A pot on a shaded porch, a corner where nothing else will grow, a bunch from a florist who knows the season is short. Lean in close. They are worth it.
And if you want to carry the scent with you — Dior’s Diorissimo is the lily of the valley fragrance most people reach for. It is not the little bottle I bought in Paris and it is not a perfect match for those flowers on the side of my mother’s house. Nothing is. But it is beautiful and it is close and sometimes close is enough.
Some things are worth going a little out of your way for. These are two of them.
Do you have a flower that takes you somewhere? A scent that stops you mid-stride and puts you right back in a moment you thought you had half-forgotten? Tell me in the comments — I would love to know what yours is.
If you like tIf you enjoyed this post, I would love it if you shared it. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and X — I would love to have you along.
You might also enjoy:
April — The Promise of Peonies
Intentional Living After 50: What It Really Looks Like
Mother’s Day Flowers in Vintage Containers
On My Radar~Lily of the Valley and Lilacs
I really enjoyed this post today. Lilacs and peonies…my two favorites of spring.
Thank you Nancy!
I, too, grew up in the Midwest with memory-infusing lilacs and lily of the valley. When we moved to North Carolina, I immediately planted three lilac bushes. For about five glorious years, the lilacs bloomed, but finally they succumbed to the heat and voles. Mrs. Meyers soaps has a lilac dish and hand soap that is really close to the lilac scent. I only use it in the spring. Just to remember.
Kelly, I will be searching for Mrs. Meyers soap! Thank you for the tip.
I live in Nashville and have both Lily of the Valley and a Lilac bush. The original bush which was more of a tree started falling over one day and i mourned it’s demise until i got another. Not a tree but a bush and it’s very healthy as are the lily’s which keep spreading. They are what I would call “old fashioned” flowers and I love them for their beautiful scent. Have you checked with a local horticulturist about what might grow in your area? Thank you and I love reading your blog.
Cathy,
I think I can grow lily of the valley here but the only spot in the yard is a “deer trail” and so far everything I have planted there they have eaten. I would be heartbroken if they ate the lily.
My landscaper architect said that lilacs would have a very hard time growing here but she may be able to find something similar.
Have a wodnerful week.
Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful memories. Living in Texas I certainly can’t grow lilacs. sigh…. After consulting Mr. Google, I think maybe the lady was growing some form of viburnum. Korean Spice Viburnum is said to be highly fragrant and heat tolerant.
Marsha, I have never hears of Korean Spice Viburnum. I will have to take a look.
Have a lovely day.
What beautiful memories you brough up for me! I grew up and still live in the Midwest and have taken slips of both my grandmother’s lilac bush and lily of the valley and moved them to 4 houses now, from Illinois and now Indianapolis. Hers were outside the kitchen window and near back door where you’d smell them all day long. The blooms on my lilac vary from year to year and I wish I could get the cut blooms to last longer but they’re definitely my favorite flower.
Cyndie,
How wonderful to have slips of your grandmothers lilacs and lily! That makes them even more special!
Oh, Elizabeth, we are kindred spirits! I remember when I was about 4 lying under the lilac in our backyard. The smell was heavenly. When we moved here, the first thing I planted was a lilac. My favorite scent. I also planted lily of the valley on one side of our home. Maybe it was because I read the Flower Fairy books that I, too, think of fairies. My mother has peonies that used to grow in my great-grandmother’s garden. We think they might be close to 100 years old. They are so beautiful! Flowers and gardens evoke such strong memories. I’m so glad you have your memories of living in Wisconsin on Lake Michigan. Such a blessing.
I’ve read that Jo Malone’s “Orange Blossom” cologne is the closet thing to real orange blossoms.
I have not tried Orange Blossom, I will have to look for it. Thank you for sharing.
Ellen, thank you for sharing your lilac memory! How is your lilac doing? It is such an iconic scent and like the lily and the peonies a special spring flower whose time is fleeting which make is so special.
I am glad that you enjoyed the post.
I did not grow up where lilacs or lily of the valley can grow, but I think that they are lovely to look at and they smell wonderful.
What I remember is the glorious smell of the orange groves in bloom, there is nothing like it. That smell, and the smell of eucalyptus trees takes me back to my childhood.
My grandmother used to wear Muguet des Bois and Devon Violet perfume, and my mother wore Maja – which are other scents that take me back to my childhood. How I wish I could find those perfumes in their original formulations!
Alexandra, they are lovely and I miss them.
Where did you grow up that you were so close to the orange blossoms? That sounds amazing?
I have never heard of these scents, I am going to look them up!
Thank you for sharing.
I grew up in California, and I’m old enough that there were still a lot of orange groves around when I was growing up. All those fragrances I mentioned are old perfumes, and you can either find old bottles on eBay or new formulations that aren’t quite the same! The thing I liked about Maja that I thought was pretty unique is that it’s scent was from carnations.
Alexandra, it sounds lovely. As for the fragrances, I looked them up and as you say, the formulations have changed. That is a shame.
Thank you for sharing.
Lilacs, Lily of the Valley, Peonies, especially Tree Peonies, and Pansies are four of my favorite flowers. All spring bloomers with a too short blooming season. When I smell any of them I’m back in my grandmother’s garden surrounded by her love. I grew up in Rochester NY, home to Highland Park, which has the largest collection of lilacs in the world. You can read about them at HighlandParkconservancy.org. A Lilac Festival is held every year and a perfume that’s sold locally, and maybe also on the internet, is made from the lilac variety named for Rochester. I’m sorry you can’t grow them where you live.
Patty, thank you for letting me know! I am off to look up this festival and to try to secure some of the perfume. It sounds like a lovely festival.
Have a wonderful week and thank you for reading the blog.
I grew up in northern Pennsylvania and my flower memories are the same “holy trinity” of yours. I now live in south Florida so my beloved lilacs, lily of the valley or peonies don’t grow here. I’ve embraced the magnolias, camellia bush in my back yard and the orchids instead. However, nothing will ever replace the childhood blooms that you so nicely wrote about today. My aunt (who was also my godmother) had a white lilac tree on one side of her yard and a purple on the other. She would always send me home with a bouquet of both for my room. The lily of the valley grew in our nearby “forest” and since I’m a May birthday they’re special to me. But the star of the show has always been the peonies. My grandmother had them in her yard and they’ve always been my favorite flower. It’s one of the few things I miss from my NJ home where I grew over 30 bushes. One year a Sarah Bernhardt gave me 64 blooms. My daughters send me a bouquet of them for my birthday each year to remind me of their beauty and incredible fragrance.
Suzanne, 64 blooms!!! Wow! My peonies are going to have to do a lot of work to catch up with that! Goals to be sure and the one thing that I seem to have good luck with. How wonderful to have such wonderful memories of your grandmother, her flowers and yours. The memories of flowers are etched in the scent and out times with them. I am happy that you are “making” memories with the flowers you now have in Florida. When I lived in Florida I love growing boganvilla and hibiscus.
Have a wonderful week.
Wonderful post! My favorite flowers that bring back memories are irises and daffodils. My mother loved them both! Her irises do not bloom very well anymore as they are too thick. Her daffodils however…live on!!! Each year for Mother’s Day I gifted her with daffodil bulbs. She had every color, white, peach, big yellow ones, little ones, quite the sight. This year there were 100’s of them! Beautiful!! Even though Mom’s been gone many years, her flowers are reminded of her and her love. Thanks for the memory!
Edie, how wonderful to have your mother and her memories live on in her daffodils. I love the idea of gifting bulbs. I think I am going to start doing this, it is a lovely idea. My mom is 80 and she was a prolific gardener, not so much any more but she does always have lovely containers on the porches.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories.
Hi Elizabeth,
I was talking with my future DIL about Lily of the Valley just this weekend. We were discussing her bouquet for the wedding and I said they would be lovely, she was not familiar with them. Unfortunately it is an autumn wedding and they won’t be in season.
Fig trees bring back all the memories, of sitting in summer on the tin roof of the backyard shed that the fig tree’s branches grew over. My younger brother and I would sit and pick and eat figs to our heart’s content.
Figs smell lovely. I can imagine how much fun it would be to sit on the tin roof and enjoy them until your hearts content with your brother. Rita, when is the wedding? Is everything planned?
Have a great week.
The wedding is in May 2027 and most things are booked or getting booked. She is extremely organized and my son goes along with it all. She is the most wonderful young lady and we are so blessed that she will officially be part of our family. Her family is also wonderful. All my siblings and their families adore her. Not much more you can ask for. Thank you for taking an interest.
Rita, that is so exciting! Your daughter-in-law(future) is blessed to have you and your family. It’s a rare thing to marry into a family that genuinely loves you. I was blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law, sadly I know several people who were not.
Have a wonderful week and thank you for sharing!
When I was a child I in lived in Seattle. Both of my parents were amazing gardeners and although they had a large variety of roses and other flowing plants my favorite were the Sweet Peas. Their scent and colors have stayed with me and remind me of summer.
Claudette, I have never seen a sweet pea. I follow many English gardeners and they all grow sweet peas. I am going to have to see if they are something I can grow.
Thank you for sharing.
My heart sings with your post. It brought back so many memories of my great grandmother, my grandmother, my mother, my mother-in-law’s gorgeous Lily of the Valley, Peonies, Lilac, Gardenias, Dahlias, Zinnias, Tube Roses, Stars of Bethlehem, so many others. But as you did, I also was intrigued by the perfumes in France, especially the Perfume Factory in the South of Frances, near Nice. Oh how I would love to do again and find your same perfumes, as they are my same desire. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring read.
Judy Truex Reed
Judy, thank you for sharing your long lineage of beautiful flowers. Do you have any of them in your own garden?
Did you purchase any perfume while in France? Do you have a favorite floral scent that you wear?
Have a wonderful week.