It started with Love’s Baby Soft.
If you are of a certain age you remember it — that pale pink bottle, that powdery sweet cloud of a scent that was less a perfume than a promise. The promise of growing up. Of smelling like something other than your mother’s Ivory soap. I was twelve, maybe thirteen. I thought it was the most sophisticated thing I had ever smelled. I was wrong about that. But not about the feeling — the feeling that a scent could change something about who you were, or at least how you felt about yourself.
I have been chasing that feeling ever since.
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Paris at Fifteen
The first perfume that truly changed me was Anaïs Anaïs.
I was fifteen and in Paris for the first time — an Easter trip, London and Paris, the kind of trip that rewires you and lets you see and learn about a part of the world you have only known from books. Everything in Paris seemed simultaneously new and impossibly old and elegant. We walked in and out of perfume shops the way you walk in and out of churches in that city.
I left one of those shops floating on air. There is no other way to describe it. I was carrying a bottle of Anaïs Anaïs — that legendary bottle with its white flowers painted on the glass — and I felt like a more sophisticated version of my awkward high school self. Not a different person but a more sophisticated one, at least for that moment.
That is what a great fragrance does. It does not mask you. It reveals a little or a lot about you.
The Original Sephora
Every trip to Paris after that involved perfume. Not the Sephora we have now, the one at the mall with its rows of celebrity fragrances and weekend promotions. I mean the flagship store — the one on the Champs-Élysées, which was an entirely different experience. An education in scent and makeup. And beyond that, the smaller perfumers tucked into the side streets and the covered passages, the shops where you could find things that had never made it across the Atlantic and probably never would. I came home from every Paris trip with something that was mine and nobody else’s — a bottle that nobody at home would recognize, that I had found by wandering without an agenda and following my nose. That’s the best way to explore not only Paris but anywhere you travel.
One of those bottles was a lily of the valley perfume from a French perfumer whose name I cannot remember. It smelled exactly like the flowers on the side of my mother’s house in Wisconsin. I wore it until it was gone and went back for more and they no longer made it. The grief of a discontinued perfume, like lipstick is small and a little silly and completely real. I have never found its equal. I am still looking even after all these years.
Eau de Givenchy was another love from those years — light, fresh, unmistakably French, the kind of fragrance that does not announce itself but lingers in a room after you have left it. That is always what I have wanted from a scent. Not a statement. A whisper.
What I Know About Myself
I am a floral girl. I have always been a floral girl and I will always be a floral girl. No musk. No heavy woods. Nothing that smells like the bottom of a forest or the inside of a cigar box. Light florals, a thread of sweetness — the scent of a garden, not the forest floor.
I love the scent of lily of the valley. Of sugar and cotton and something that smells clean and soft and faintly of childhood without being childish.
This is useful information, actually. Knowing what you love — not what you are supposed to love or what the magazine said was sophisticated or what your friend wears — knowing your own nose is the beginning of everything when it comes to finding the right fragrance. It took me decades to trust mine. Now I do. And it turns out that for women over 50, this kind of self-knowledge is the key to life, not just perfume. Not age-appropriate perfume. Not a signature scent chosen because someone else said it was the right one. Your scent. The one that smells like you on a good day.
From My Own Shelf
This is a selection of what is actually on my bathroom counter right now.
Three of them are from the Maison Margiela REPLICA line, which I want to say something about before I name them. The idea behind REPLICA is that each fragrance is built around a specific memory — a place, a moment, something you could close your eyes and return to.
Lazy Sunday Morning smells like clean linen and lily of the valley and the particular kind of morning when there is nowhere you need to be.
Flower Market smells like a flower market. Exactly that. If you have been to the flower markets in Paris you will recognize it immediately. It has been discontinued, unfortunately but you can still find it if you look.
Springtime in a Park is all lily of the valley, which you will not be surprised to hear is my favorite thing. It is holding the space on my counter while I keep looking for the one that replaces my long-discontinued Paris bottle.
L’Eau d’Issey by Issey Miyake, which I have worn for years. It is light and clean and takes me back to Paris every time I wear it because that it where I first found it.
Lollia Believe — subtitled Cabbage Rose and Citrus, which is exactly what it smells like. Rose and apple, and a little citrus I reach for it on ordinary days because it makes them feel like something special.
By Rosie Jane Leila Lou, which is pear and jasmine and fresh cut grass, made by a woman in California who named it after her daughter. Clean and a little sweet and completely unpretentious.
Library of Flowers Root, which I will admit is outside my usual floral territory. It is green and earthy and mossy, more forest floor than garden, and I do not entirely understand why I like it as much as I do. But I do. Sometimes a fragrance surprises you.
And Lollia Breathe — peony and white lily, clean and soft and barely there. This one is a whisper.
Here is the thing I want you to take from this list: there is not a single bottle on my counter that cost the same amount as any other. I do not discriminate by price. I have worn a twelve dollar bottle from TJ Maxx that smells like sugar just as happily as a three hundred dollar French fragrance. Your nose does not know what you paid. Trust it anyway.
A Few Florals Worth Finding
If you are looking for something new here is where I would point you, depending on what you are looking for.
If you want something light and pretty for everyday wear, start with Tocca’s Florence — lily of the valley, rose, a little sandalwood. It is soft and feminine.
For something with a little more presence, try Chloé Eau de Parfum. It is a rose fragrance, soft and powdery. Not heavy. Just there.
Jo Malone is the line I use when I want to layer. Peony & Blush Suede is the one I keep coming back to — rosy and soft and a little velvety. But the real beauty of Jo Malone is combining two scents and ending up with something that is entirely your own.
And because you will see it everywhere: Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel. It is more intense than I reach for personally. If that is what you are looking for it is perfect. I just happen to prefer a whisper.
The right fragrance is not the one with the best reviews or the prettiest bottle. It is the one that smells like you on a good day and the one that makes you feel special, takes you back to a place or a memory.
The Destination
On a future Paris trip, I want to have a signature scent made just for me. Not chosen from a shelf. Not spritzed from a tester. Created. By a perfumer, in a consultation, with my name on the bottle when it is done.
Right now I am in research mode, looking into the ateliers and independent perfumers in Paris who do this kind of bespoke work.
In the meantime I will keep exploring, keep trying new scents, keep following my nose through the side streets of everything I love.
Find Yours
That fifteen year old girl floating out of a Paris perfume shop with her Anaïs Anaïs had the right instinct. Scent is personal. Scent is memory. Scent is the invisible thing you leave in a room when you have gone that makes people turn and wonder, just for a moment, who was here.
Do you have a signature scent? Or are you, like me, still on the beautiful journey of finding it? Tell me in the comments — I genuinely want to know.
If you enjoyed this post, I would love it if you shared it. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and X — I would love to have you along.
You might also enjoy:
The Flowers That Take You Home — Lilacs, Lily of the Valley and Spring Nostalgia
You Have Earned This: A Permission Slip for Women Over 50
Dear Woman Who Has Been Last on Her Own List
On My Radar
What a fun post! I feel like I’ve been in a rut with my perfume choices for a long time and you’ve inspired me to explore new option!
I am so happy that you enjoyed the post. Come back and tell us if you find a new favorite.
Very much enjoyed your article. I’ve worn Mitsouko by Guerlain since I was 20,there have been others but I always return to Mitsouko. It helps that my husband loves it he’s not a “new man” but he could pick Mitsouko out of a crowd to him it’s instantly recognizable. The best experience I had was as a nurse looking after an elderly lady in my ward,who had a bottle on her locker. When I told her it was my favorite she said her husband loved it and always bought it for her ever since they met and married. We spoke a bit more and it felt like I’d just met a fellow member of an exclusive club sort of, if you know, you know.
I’m glad others get the same pleasure from a beautiful fragrance as I do.
Jane, I am not familiar with Mitsouko, I will have to take a look so that I can learn more about it.
I love the story of the lady who wore and enjoyed the same perfume. Kindred spirits.
Have a wonderful week.
Love perfumes, although I have to be careful as they can bring on a headache or migraine. My favourite was Gio by Giorgio Armani, which I believe is discontinued. Another favourite is Aerin Mediterranean Honeysuckle. I hope your bespoke perfume is a success.
An inspiring post! I’m leaving on a short trip so can’t order today, but I will come back to this story for some tries. I too love the lighter florals, and wish I could find the lilac fragrance my Nana wore. Rose and peony are favorites, and I fondly recall the lily of the valley patch behind my mother’s spruce tree. If only…
Sharon, have a lovely and safe trip!
What perfume do you wear now? Do you have a floral favorite?
I hope that this post brought a smile as you took a trip back to the patch of your mothers lily of the valley.
Loved this post! I am a Chloe gal and have been for years. Always difficult finding another scent but excited to try some you have recommended. Thanks for the sharing what works for you and that inspires me to start the hunt again. You are appreciated!
Laurie, thank you! You are appreciates too! It is always nice to have followers comment so that we can all learn from one another. You are so right, it is a challenge to find your scent. Perhaps you can find something similar rot Chloe? Or maybe something completely new!
Have a wonderful week.
Thank you for this post. It has taken me down memory lane! I too took a trip to Paris as a teen and fell in love with Anais Anais. I also discovered Joy by Jean Patou. Such lovely memories!
April, oh that is wonderful. You fell in love with Paris and a perfume!
Enjoy your memories.
What an interesting post. I like the statement about not announcing your arrival, but lingering after you’ve gone. I have occasionally tried new scents but I always go back to what I have never thought of as my signature but just my favorite. Thanks for elevating it! Good luck having a scent made especially for you. Something I didn’t realize one could actually do! Oh, my scent is Cashmere Mist by Donna Karan. Discovered in Edinburgh many years ago and worn ever since. Perhaps it takes me back …
Peg,
I have never tried Cashmere Mist. I will have to take a look. I have found that a perfume discovered on an adventure always smells differently, it’s like it carries the memories along with it.
When I visited Edinburgh on 3 separate occasions I came home with a new Barbour coat each time, lots of tartan scarves, crystal and a “Loch Ness” rubber animal for the bath. Unfortunately no perfume.
Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing.
I love perfume and have a nice variety of scents that I rotate with the seasons. I got a bit carried away during Covid and bought more than I should have, but with 2 daughters I’ve been able to give some away. I thought I would share my special perfume story. When my Dad was in the Navy he visited Grasse, France and bought my mother a bottle of Joy which at the time was marketed as “the most expensive perfume in the world.” It was the only perfume my mother ever wore and she did so sparingly. She died a few years ago at the age of 90 and when I was cleaning out her things, I found the original small black heart shaped bottle with the red knob on top tucked away in a drawer with my Dad’s gift card to her.
Suzanne,
Thank you! Thank you for sharing your mother and father’s story. I remember Joy! What a special gift for your mother, and how romantic that after all of these years she still had the card and the bottle.
I would love to know what scents you are drawn to and what you found during Covid.
Thank you again for sharing your story, it was lovely.
Well my mother once said that my perfume choices reminded her of an Orthodox church during Benediction. However since I now live in Florida those scents don’t get much air time. I do love orange blossom and many years ago we visited the Fragonard factory in Eze, France where I bought their Fleur d’Oranger. There are a few others on my dresser right now including Lancome’s La Vie Est Belle Eclat (discontinued) Elie Saab’s Le Parfum, Jo Malone’s Orange Blossom, YSL’s Libre.
Suzanne,
I love your mother’s description! Truth be told I love the smell of incense from old churches!
Florida and the heat does call for lighter scents. Orange Blossom sounds perfect.
Elizabeth, you might try Fragonard. We did a workshop in one of their shops in Paris, and made our own scent. No one liked what they came up with but me. I still have the bottle and use it sparingly. It’s unlike what I usually wear, but it’s interesting and I named it for my son “Whitten’s Sky”.
I also like florals and wear Aerin’s Mediterranean Honeysuckle, Kai, Jo Malone’s Wild Bluebell, Bond #9’s High Line, and one from a little perfumer in Bermuda.
I wear fresher marine scents in the summer and heavier stuff in the fall and winter.
I am trying the fresh clean scents that are bespoke, from Ffern. They send you a new scent every quarter. So far I am 1 for 2.
Gray,
Thank you for the tip about Fragonard. I love that you named it for your son! I would love to hear more about it. And know f Fragonard keeps your formula? I believe that Floris in London keeps your formula so that you can reorder.
I love Aeries Honeysuckle! I haven’t tried Bond #9.
I love Marine scents, clean and natural. But do not like heavier scents in the Fall.
I have thought about Fern but so far have not liked any of the descriptions.
Thank you for sharing!
Oh my goodness! A truly lovely post in every single way! It made me smile.
Thank you, so much! for sharing your beautifully written words and proving such a lovely mind vacation with delicious fragrances!
Beth, thank you! I appreciate your lovely comment.
I’m more of a creamy type smell gal. I have 3 firm favourites. Gucci Rush. Bvlgari Omnia (sadly now discontinued) and Versace Crystal Noir. On holiday in The Canaries one year. I bought a perfume called Marrousia by Slava Zaitsev. I’ve bought it off and on for many years now. I currently use Chanel Coco Madamoiselle. Alien and of course Gucci Rush.
I have loved perfumed since around the age of 14, buying my first one from our local chemist called Miss Americana. In my late teens and early 20s I adored Je Revien by Worth. I had some bought for me recently and it was too “powdery” for me. One perfume I really like but can only wear below my waist is Clinique Aromatic.
As I say, I love perfume!
Jan, I have loved perfume on and off since I was a young girl. Unfortunately at different seasons in my life I could not wear it, it made me feel unwell. Like you I have purchased perfume from all over and have experimented with different scents. I love finding perfume in places I have visited that is unique to them, in Argentina I purchased a pear and white blossom perfume that I loved. Sadly unavailable here. Then in Spain I purchased a citrus based perfume. As I said I am drawn to florals but am open to things that catch my nose.
I love the Caneries, I’ve only been once but enjoyed my time there. Gucci Rush I am familiar with and the Bulgari too but not Crystal Noir.
Thank you for sharing your favorites! IT is always nice to learn about new scents.
I enjoyed reading about your trip to Paris and your discovery of Anaïs Anaïs – what a great experience as a young girl and sweet memory for you! I love perfumes, and I typically go in the direction of florals, especially this time of year. I’ll be checking out the ones you referenced (I see a trip to Sephora in my future!)
Cartier Baiser Vole. It is a soft, incredibly feminine soliflore of lily. Heavenly, and gets lots of compliments.
Lauren, thank you so much for the recommendation. I am off to check it out right now!
The love affair you describe in this article runs parallel to mine, as it started with my grandmother’s roses in her tiny tropical garden when I was 8. Up to now, I am still looking for this rose intermingled with a hint of cream. A tiny delicate lilac/pink colored flower which made me sneeze uncontrollably at one point. This was because I fervently inhaled it’s pollen. I was just so in love with the scent! 😀 I still have faith that I will one day reunite with that precious scent but for now I will aspire to look into all the fragrances you listed for curiosity’s sake. Thank you for your inspiration.
Liana-Sue,
I love reading about your grandmothers roses. They sound delightful. I have never seen a lilac pink rose! Do you have memories of other flowers in your grandmothers garden or just this particular rose? I wish you luck on finding the perfect scent or at least one that takes you back to that special place.
Thank you for sharing your story, have a lovely weekend.
I have always loved perfume but I am very particular about my likes and dislikes. There are some scents that get to my head in a bad way.
After the time of Love’s Baby Soft came a vanilla adventure for years. Then, the most popular scent was a musk from Body Shop. When I started to be more of an individual I fell in love with Estée Lauder Pleasures until some jerk of a boyfriend ruined it for me by saying it was an old lady perfume. I moved on to love Ralph Lauren Romance, Marc Jacobs Daisy, Gucci Flora and a couple of Narciso Rodriguez scents.
More recently I have been wearing Chanel Chance Eau Fraîche, which I did replenish in Paris, Maison Margiella Replica Beach Walk, Armani Sì and Because It’s You.
What I have purchased or tried most recently include the sample box from Elyon Dubai. I hated it all at first but have grown to love Aria. It’s spicier and stronger than my usual but wears down nicely. I am currently waiting for a delivery of Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Flora Savaggia. It has been discontinued so it was hard to find. I had a sample and became obsessed. Right now I have on Kayali Maldives in a Bottle. It took a couple of tries to like it but now I really do.
I wonder what all this says about me?
This was interesting, laying out my fragrance journey like this and seeing growth and maturation. I don’t know if there’s any particular scent pattern. I just go with what I like.
Thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to share mine.
Jodi, I love walking along on your fragrance journey. In Paris and at Sephora they give handfuls of samples and you are absolutely right, they need to give more. How else do you find the fragrances that you like? Fern gives you a sample to try before you open the bottle, that way you can return it if you do not like it.
You reminded me of some others that I used to wear! I forgot about Ralph Lauren! Remember the iconic burgundy bottle with the gold top?
I have made a list of several of your pics, Because It’s You and Chanel Chance Eau Fraîche among them, I think they are exactly the scents I like.
Thank you agin for shainrng your scents and memories. Have a wonderful weekend.
One more to add that I forgot that is lovely and subtle is Juliette Has a Gun Not a Perfume. Okay, I could probably add more, but I’ll just note that companies really should realize what an impact samples have. That is such a great way to discover a new scent!
Jodi,
I love Juliet HAs a Gun, Not a Perfume! I have that too. I actually have a large collection of perfume but have been giving it away to sisters, friends and my mom. I am just not using it as much, not to mention it makes room for other things.
Hi!
I have loved so many perfumes over the years. The one I think smelled the most like “me” was called Myrte I believe and was made by L’Occitane and of course has been discontinued. It smelled mostly of Myrtle hence the name and it was just divine. I wore heavier perfumes years ago such as Opium, Angel, Armani Code, YSL Libre most recently but nothing has come close to suiting me like Myrte. I’m currently looking for something new to love…..
Kellie, my mother wore Opium all the time when I was growing up. Now she has moved to more florals, of course it could have something to do with me giving her floral perfume.
Have you googled for similar fragrances to Myrtle? Maybe there is something that will work for you?
Thank you for sharing, have a wonderful weekend.
Gosh this brings back memories. In the 60’s I was 14 when I discovered Ambush by Dana. Loved it. Layer as I was in my 20’s I loved Ciara, Chloe and Halston. Then in the 40’s I got hooked on Paris by Yves St. Laurent (you might love that…it has rose in it) and also Sung by the designer of the same name. Now however, I can’t wear scent. It really bothers me and makes me sneeze. If I could I would continue wearing Paris.
Nanci, I love learning about your favorite scents over the years. I actually did wear Paris! I think it was in my late 20-30s. I love it.
I have years were scents bother me and years wear they don’t it is very strange.
Thank you for sharing!
Have a beautiful weekend.
Thank you for the article Elizabeth. I too have loved fragrances since I was very young. I wear it everyday, whether I am going to work or to the grocery store. I have gone through many perfumes but my absolute favorite was Radiant Mirage by Estee’ Lauder then they stopped making it…no warning so I could stock up I am now looking for the another one but yet to find the one that is “me on my best day”
Randi,
Thank you for sharing! I hope that you are able to find a fragrance that you love just as much as Radiant Mirage. Have you done a google search? You might find others who loved it and found something similar.
Have a wonderful week.
I love florals and started with Anais Anais as well. I wore Beautiful by Estee Lauder for decades and received so many compliments!! I got Covid >5years ago and never regained my sense of smell. I have been afraid to wear any perfume since then. Reviews say that Beautiful’s formula has changed, so I am nervous about retrying it. I loved your article, and it inspires me to try something new.
Brenda, I am sorry about your sense of smell. That must be a challenge. I am always nervous trying new formulas of things I once enjoyed because more often than not they are wildly different.
Thank you for sharing your story and for reading the blog.